Note: The following article is for entertainment purposes only and is intended to be humorous. It's based on years of my personal observations and, as such, is likely biased and inaccurate. It shouldn't be taken as anything other than an entertainment and editorial piece.

I have a theory about bumper stickers on cars. Specifically, the theory goes like this... The more bumper stickers on the car, the farther left-wing (politically) the owner of that car is. The fewer, the more right-wing.

For example, I saw a car the other day with just two bumper stickers. They were both campaign stickers for George W. Bush's 2004 presidential run. Zero, one, or two stickers usually means "Republican" or "right-wing" politically.

This morning, I was behind a car with about 8 bumper stickers. One of them was "Hate is not a family value". Two others talked about autism. Two more talked about the breed of dog the owner preferred. The last was a subtle left-wing message, "11-04-08" implying that the driver can't wait until the next political election to bring George Bush out of office. More than two stickers usually means "Democrat" or "Liberal" or "left-wing" politically.

I'm not quite sure what to make of this observation. Does it mean that a more-liberal personality feels that it's necessary for their car to make lots of political statements? Does it mean that a conservative doesn't think bumper stickers have an effect on others, or is just that they prefer not to clutter up their cars with lots of stickers?

Beats me. But I find it very rare that a car with more than 3 bumper stickers is expressing a Republican, right-wing, conservative set of viewpoints, while it's almost a given that a car with 5 or more stickers is expressing just the opposite.

Next time you're stuck in traffic behind a car covered in bumper stickers, make your own observation. You might find it interesting...