I was watching television tonight when an ad for Crest Whitestrips came on the air (OK, it was on the TiVo but I've SEEN it on the air).  The ad features a reasonably attractive but rather annoying, overly smily woman asking you to guess her age.  The commercial then goes on to explain that if you use Crest Whitestrips you'll remove "up to 20 years of stains" from your teeth.  In other words, if your teeth aren't pearly white you look OLD!

One reason I'll never buy Crest again...

 For further evidence, check out this ad for Crest Whitestrips online.

First, not everyone's teeth are physically capable of becoming perfectly pure white.  Some teeth, as their natural color, are a little yellow.  It doesn't matter if the person whose teeth they are is 2 years old or 102.  I've NEVER looked at anyone, of any age, and thought to myself "My God, that person's teeth are so stained, they must be ANCIENT!"  I'm willing to bet that if you don't work for Crest, you don't say idiotic, superficial things like that either.

This commercial offends me on so many levels.  First, the implication that tooth color somehow implies age is patently ridiculous.  Yes, if I don't take care of my teeth and eat lots of staining foods, my teeth may look worse than someone else my age, or someone younger than me.  But it isn't the age causing that, it's the poor oral hygiene.

Next, the fact that they are perpetuating the idea that being or (worse) looking older is somehow a serious problem.  People age.  We get gray hair, wrinkles, etc.  There's nothing wrong with that. It's perfectly natural. I wouldn't love my wife any less if she had gray hair, wrinkles, and walked with a cane.  (It just so happens she doesn't have any of that, but I wouldn't care if she did.)  So "boo" to Crest for perpetuating a superficial image of Americans.

What also annoys me is that after spending an entire commercial showing us this maniacally smiling woman, who spends the commercial vamping and giggling about what her age might be, the commercial ends without them actually telling us her age.  What kind of B.S. is that?  Assuming I buy into their superficial selling point that "white teeth equals a youthful appearance", why aren't they telling us how old this woman is?  If you told me she was 65, I'd be floored.  Or 55.  45 would be believable.  Regardless, not revealing that "secret" at the end of the ad just reeks of deception and insult to the viewer.  It also leaves you wondering "So does this crap actually work?"

I haven't bought Crest toothpaste in years, and I've never bought the Whitestrips.  After seeing this commercial, my natural preference against the toothpaste has become a matter of principle.  I will NOT be buying any more Crest products from this day onward.  Obviously not the reaction Crest was looking for, was it?