|
Review: Southwest Specialty Foods' "Whoop Ass Chili Mix" |
|
|
|
|
Written by Michael Salsbury
|
|
Tuesday, 29 November 2005 |
 This could be a very easy review to write. I could sum the whole experience up in just two words... "It ain't." But if I did that, you'd wonder what happened to that wordy writer you've come to know on this web site. You might also start asking yourself "ain't WHAT?" Fear not, dear reader, I shall not let you down.
I purchased a can of Southwest Specialty Foods, Inc.'s Whoop Ass Chili Mix directly from their web site a short time ago. I bought it as part of a larger order of their products that I'd placed. I placed that order after having been on vacation in Arizona and picking up some of their spicy microwave popcorn. The popcorn was quite good and had just the right amount of heat, so I was hopeful that this product would be as good. Sadly, this was not to be.
One thing I can say for this chili mix is that it's relatively easy to make. You brown your ground beef and onions, boil the dehydrated beans contained in the can, and (more or less) combine everything else after that (per the instructions, of course). The result is something (to paraphrase Douglas Adams) that is "not entirely unlike chili" but also not really "chili" either, in my opinion.
After completing the final steps in the preparation of the chili, I dipped a hopeful spoon into the pot to see what it tasted like (before adding the massive quantity of salt they recommended on the package). I was dismayed to find that while there was a very slight "heat" to it, there was little identifiable flavor of chili (or chili powder) to it. That was quite disappointing. I let it simmer a while and tasted it again. It hadn't changed. It looked more or less like chili (though a bit pale, I thought), smelled more or less like chili, but had very little chili flavor to it. I added some salt and it didn't get any better. I added some hot Mexican Chili Powder to it, which added some to the chili flavor and kicked up the spice factor a little, but didn't help much. I tried adding some other chili spices I use when I make chili by hand, but it only got marginally better.
As for this being "Whoop Ass" chili in terms of its flavor, like I said earlier, "It ain't." Was it "Whoop Ass" chili from a "spicy hot" viewpoint? Again, sadly, no. Yes, it was spicier than my grandmother would make if she was doing it, but barely any spicier than a plate of Skyline Chili (and not nearly as tasty). Thus, to the question, "How spicy was it?" I have to say "It ain't." Yeah, it might whoop my grandmother's tastebuds, my wife's, or my stepdaughter's, but the medium-hot buffalo wing from BW3 or the typical bottle of Tabasco sauce is more likely to "whoop" your ass than this stuff.
My advice: Save your $4.95 plus shipping and get yourself any chili mix at your local grocery. Toss into that about a quarter teaspoon of cayenne pepper and about half as many red pepper flakes. The result, I'd be willing to bet, tastes a whole lot more like chili and is a lot more likely to tickle your tastebuds (spice-wise) than this mediocre attempt at chili-making will ever do.
On a 1-10 scale, with 1 being awful and 10 being excellent, this chili gets about a 4. I've had worse, but not much. On a spiciness scale, with 1 being a light sprinkle of black pepper and 10 being something that makes your tongue go numb, this chili (even with my addition of hot Mexican Chili Powder) rates right around a 3.
"Whoop Ass" it ain't. More like "accidentally-bump-into-your-ass-on-an-elevator".
Related Blogs:
Related Links:
|
|
Last Updated ( Tuesday, 06 December 2005 )
|
