Thyroid Cancer Update 12/21/2008

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On Tuesday, I took a "tracer" dose of radioactive iodine.  On Wednesday, I took another.  Thursday I underwent two scans to see where the tracer doses went.  As expected and hoped, the scans showed that the radiation was pretty much confined to my remaining thyroid tissue.

Based on the result of those scans, the doctor set my "big" dose of radioactive iodine to 75 millicuries.  In terms of the range of potential doses used to treat thyroid cancer, it's in the lowest range of doses.

On Friday morning, I took a 76 millicurie dose of radioactive iodine.  Apparently, I also contracted a cold and cough.  Since the radiation, lack of thyroid hormone (part of the treatment), and restrictive diet most likely reduced the overall effectiveness of my immune system, I now have a sinus and chest cold on top of the symptoms of hypothyroidism and radiation treatment.  I'm sneezing and coughing on a pretty regular basis, and feeling exhausted and tired much of the rest of the time.

I know this is nothing compared to what other cancer patients like my mother (who died earlier this year from melanoma) have gone through, and I am both respectful of that and grateful that my situation isn't worse than it is.  Still, it's not an exaggeration to say that I feel worse than I can remember feeling in a long, long time... if not the worst ever.  While I will probably never understand what my mother went through in her final days, I think I have a greater appreciation of it than I ever did before.

Tomorrow morning, I look forward to being off the low-iodine diet.  That means I can have things with dairy (like my morning coffee with milk), sandwiches with cheese, and pizza again.  I can have sushi, Chinese food, Indian food, and more.  Perhaps even better than that, I'll once again be back on the synthetic thyroid hormone. That should be the end of the severely dry skin, muscle weakness, unexplained muscle cramps, shortness of breath, and other symptoms I've had to endure since before Thanksgiving.

This coming Friday (12/26) is another set of scans for radiation, to determine where the last "big" dose went. Friday's scan is supposed to be "more revealing" in some way than the one I had last Thursday.

After that, I'll be working with the endocrinologist to regulate the dose of synthroid I'll be taking from now on to give me a "normal" level of thyroid hormone in my blood.  I guess you could say that the end is in sight, at least as much as there is an end to this.  I'll be having tests each year from now to confirm that the cancer hasn't returned, so in a sense it will never be truly "behind me" and will always be somewhere out there in the distance.

Thyroid Cancer Update 12/12/2008

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I'm almost through my first full week of the low-iodine diet.  All things considered, it's not that bad, but it's certainly not fun.  I pretty much can't eat in restaurants.  I can't have anything with salt, because it might be iodized salt.  I can't have anything with seafood or sea-based products (such as sea salt, seaweed, or seaweed extracts).  I can't have dairy products. I can't have soy products, such as soy sauce.  No egg yolks or anything containing them.  No bread products that contain iodized salt or iodine based dough conditioners (whatever those are).  There are lots more restrictions. 

Pretty much, my diet this week has consisted of: unsalted walnuts, unsalted sunflower seeds, oranges, apples, bananas, celery, home-cooked chicken, home-cooked pot roast, veggies, a special bread from a bakery that doesn't use iodized salt, homemade popcorn with unsalted margarine and non-iodized salt, rice, and pasta.

Unfortunately, since I'm off the thyroid medication, too, I don't think I've actually lost any weight on this diet.  Being off the thyroid medication is the worst part of this by far.  I get horrendous muscle cramps for virtually no reason. For example, one day this week at work I moved my arm slightly (not rapidly, not holding anything, etc.) and suddenly the muscles under my arm and on my rib cage under my armpit absolutely throbbed in pain.  I don't think I've had that much pain in years, and it took the better part of an hour to go away.

Another added "benefit" to being off the synthetic hormone is that I'm really sensitive to cold temperatures, which is just great in December in Ohio.  What makes it more fun is that I'm in a recently-renovated area of our office complex at work.  This new area has a heating system that the engineers are still working the bugs out of.  This afternoon, a co-worker measured the temperature and humidity in our area, which was 70 degrees with 24% humidity.  He said the calculations say that feels like 64-65 degrees.  Everyone in the area, none of whom are hypothyroid, is complaining about the cold.  My hands and toes have been so cold the last couple of weeks that at times I can't even feel them.

When I got in the car, I was so cold I started shivering.  That shivering activity set the muscles in my chest off with yet-another cramping spasm.  The pain continued at a decreasing level until we got home.

While making dinner, one of our cats was lying on the floor nearby, hoping for a handout. I stepped on his tail and he let out a screech. I reacted instantly to lift my foot and get off him.  That caused my leg muscles to spasm, which made me double over in pain.  Doubling over caused my shoulder, the muscles under my arm, and muscles under my armpit to all cramp in extreme pain.  By the time the pain subsided, my dinner had pretty much gone cold.

As if the muscle cramps weren't enough, I get short of breath often, my leg muscles feel really weak, I've had memory lapses, headaches, dry skin, and have to be careful not to be "short" (mean/rude/impolite) to others.

The diet will continue until 12/22, when I'll revert to a normal diet again and start taking the replacement thyroid hormone again.  I'm looking forward to that.

On Tuesday and Wednesday next week, I'll be taking small doses of radioactive iodine.  Thursday I'll undergo a radiation scan to see where the iodine went.  Friday (12/19), I'll take the "full-size" dose of radioactive iodine.  That will begin a six-day period of keeping at least 6 feet from other people and pets.  Fortunately, that period will end on 12/25, so I'll be able to spend time with the family then, be back to a normal diet, and taking replacement thyroid hormone once again. I ought to feel a lot better then than I do right now.

Thyroid Cancer Update 12/04/2008

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I was told to stop taking my thyroid hormone the day before Thanksgiving.  It began to take a toll on me pretty early on, and it's only gotten worse.  According to endocrineweb.com, low thyroid hormone (also called hypothyroidism) carries with it a lovely list of symptoms:

  • Fatigue
    Boy, have I noticed this one. Yesterday I walked a distance I used to walk every day without breathing hard, and wasn't sure I would make it to the end between feeling worn out and in pain.

  • Weakness
    I've experienced this one as well.  I don't have the strength or endurance I had just a few weeks ago.

  • Weight gain or increased difficulty losing weight
    This started even before the surgeon removed my thyroid, and I've been keeping a close eye on it. I don't think I've gained anything in the last couple of weeks, and may have even lost a pound or two.

  • Coarse, dry hair
    So far, I haven't noticed this problem.

  • Dry, rough pale skin
    The skin on my hands definitely mirrors this.  It's much drier than it's ever been, even to the point of almost cracking in places.

  • Hair loss
    Fortunately, I haven't see any of this yet.

  • Cold intolerance (can't tolerate the cold like those around you)
    Got this one in spades.  Doesn't help that my office is in a renovated part of the building where the techs haven't got the heating working just right yet, and that it's now December. There was a long part of today where I couldn't feel my feet and my hands were almost numb with the cold.  I'm the guy who could go outside in short sleeves for 10-15 minutes in the dead of winter, and now I can barely stand my indoor, heated office.

  • Muscle cramps and frequent muscle aches
    This was the first thing I noticed, and it's been getting worse.  Tuesday, I gently set my laptop bag on the floor in the den and really irritated the muscles and joint in my shoulder.  It caused intense pain for several minutes.  Other muscles and joints got in on the act later, to the point that I took two prescription pain killers and a muscle relaxer to try to counteract it.  It helped some.  Wednesday, my back decided to flare up and cause trouble.  Most every morning I've woken up with cramps in my hands that are so severe I can't hold much of anything in them.  Even sitting here typing, my shoulders and arms are hurting.  I'm looking forward to the weekend when I can relax and move a minimal amount.  It's not an exaggeration to say that stretching, twisting, or exerting any muscle scares me.  Most of the time, those actions cause pain comparable to a "charley horse" that lingers around for a while afterward.

  • Constipation
    So far, so good on this one.

  • Depression
    How anyone could have any of the above symptoms, combined with the knowledge that they have cancer, combined with the recent death of a parent, and not have some level of depression is beyond me.

  • Irritability
    I hadn't noticed, but apparently I do have this.  I said something I thought was slightly humorous but supportive, but dropped the jaws of everyone in the room because it was apparently "out of character" and mean.  I accidentally said something rude to a co-worker, too, in response to a comment she made... and I didn't mean to be rude then, either. So while I may not be FEELING irritable, I must be based on the way others are reacting to me.

  • Memory loss
    Yesterday, I would have said "no" to this one.  It started to be a problem today.  I've forgotten several things, sometimes very basic things like words I use often, and just couldn't recall them.  I'm starting to understand what Denny Crane (William Shatner) on Boston Legal experiences with his Alzheimer's.

  • Abnormal menstrual cycles
    If this starts being a problem for me, it'll be time to call the Guinness Book of World Records and maybe The National Enquirer...

  • Decreased libido
    My wife probably wishes this was true.  I don't think my libido has changed, but my desire to act on it has certainly diminished based on the cramps, aches, pains, and weakness I feel.
In addition to the above, I've noticed my voice having trouble today.  It sounds very weak and crackly to me. I can only imagine what it sounds like to others.  According to Wikipedia, that's a symptom, too.  In fact, their list is a bit longer and indicates that I'm probably in the "late symptoms" category now. Oh, goody.

Monday I start the low-iodine diet.  This will probably take care of any potential weight gain because it eliminates nearly everything I can and do eat.  Fortunately, it does allow for an occasional beer and (homemade) popcorn.  On the serious side, it eliminates dairy products, seafood and sea-based foods, anything with iodized salt, anything with red dye #3, virtually all baked goods (due to iodine based dough conditioners in use), certain beans, more than 6 ounces of meat a day, and lots of other stuff.  What's left is mostly raw fruits and vegetables, small amounts of home cooked meats without salt, popcorn, unsalted nuts, and homemade foods that you're positive don't include iodized salt or red dye #3.

Later in the week, I go in for blood work.

The week after that, I go in for a small dose of radioactive iodine. The next day, a scan. The next day, more tests (I think). That Friday, the "big dose" of radioactive iodine intended to kill any remaining thyroid cells or cancer cells.  For 6 days after that, I'm supposed to keep at least a 5-6 foot distance from others to avoid exposing them to radiation.  Thanks to the two surgeries and my mother's illness earlier this year, I have no sick time left and barely any vacation days, so I'll have to work at least one day while I'm in this "radioactive" state.  I'll try to find a place away from my colleagues and as far as possible from others.  In a company of 1200 people that may not be easy.

On the 22nd, the worst of it should be over, as I'll start taking the permanent thyroid hormone replacement and eating my normal diet again.  By Christmas, I'll no longer be (dangerously) radioactive so I won't be excluded from the festivities.

That's all for this round. I'll share more once the diet starts.


The World Without "US"

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I admit that I'm one of the millions of Americans who doesn't know much about, think much about, or really care much about international politics.  I don't often watch the news, and rarely enjoy it when I do.  Nevertheless, I saw this movie as an inexpensive download from Amazon.com for my TiVo and decided to give it a look.

While the story it tells leans to the right politically, I think it does a compelling job of explaining both points of view and gives some justification as to why we have a military presence in these places.  It has little to do with oil and more with promoting freedom and stability in those foreign governments.  I found it interesting and educational.  It's clear from the comments on Amazon.com that there are other ways to look at this film and I intend to keep an open mind when I hear those arguments as well. 

If you have an open mind, or think you do, it's worth taking a look at this film if you get the chance.

The World Without US - With Niall Ferguson

System Administration Lessons Learned from Star Trek

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1. "You have to know how things work on a starship..." (Star Trek II)

Kirk's old enemy, Khan, took command of the Reliant, a Federation starship.  When the Reliant approached the Enterprise, Kirk hesitated to raise his shields.  This gave Khan the opportunity to attack and severely damage the defenseless Enterprise.  Kirk retaliated by using his superior knowledge of Federation technology to remotely order the Reliant to drop its shields, allowing Kirk to launch an effective counterattack.  When asked how he knew the strategy would work, Kirk remarked that (if you're the captain) you have to know how things work on a starship.

Similarly, if you're a Windows System Administrator, you have to know how PC hardware works and how Windows itself works if you're going to be very effective.  Since becoming a Windows administrator, I've had to dig deeply into the Registry, crash logs, technical references, and programming guides to solve some of the more challenging issues to come my way.  The more I know about how things work (or how they're supposed to work), the more effective I tend to be.

2. "A no-win situation is the possibility every commander may face." (Star Trek II)

In Starfleet Academy, the Federation tests potential officers by putting them in a simulated situation that they cannot win.  This is done to see how they react to the pressure and inevitable defeat.  Having just "failed" this unpassable test, a cadet asks Kirk why they are put through it.  He says that a no-win situation is a possibility every commander may face at some point (though Kirk himself cheated his way out of it and won the "no-win" scenario).

In system administration, there are problems that will come your way that you simply can't fix.  Maybe it's a system that's been hit by too many viruses, a Registry that's too corrupted to be sorted out, or hardware that just doesn't work.  You can spend hours or days trying to fix a problem like this without ever really solving it.  You have to know when you're facing a "no-win scenario" and cut your losses by walking away from the problem.  That might mean wiping the system and reinstalling everything instead of spending hours correcting a series of problems, tossing out a piece of hardware that "ought to work" but somehow doesn't, or giving up on software that simply doesn't do what it's advertised to do.  

3. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one." (Star Trek II)

Spock gave up his life at the end of Star Trek II to save the Enterprise and her crew.  When asked by Captain Kirk why he did it, Spock replied that the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few, or the one.  In other words, Spock knew that by giving up his life he could save many others.

In system administration, you're probably not going to be faced with a "life or death" choice like this, but almost daily you're faced with situations where the needs of your end user community ("the many") dictate actions you ("the one") take.  For example, you may find yourself at the office after hours, sacrificing your personal time in order to complete a software upgrade, patch a server, or otherwise do something that would inconvenience users if you tried to do it during the work day.  Chances are, you're also probably "on call" to help those same users if they have problems late at night or on the weekend, and you're expected to help them.  The needs of the many, in this case, outweigh your own needs.

4. "Mr. Scott, have you always multiplied your repair estimates by a factor of four?  Certainly, sir. How else can I keep my reputation as a miracle worker?" (Star Trek III)

Mr. Scott admitted to Captain Kirk in Star Trek III that he had always multiplied his repair estimates by a factor of four.  This gave him the opportunity to take all the time he needed to solve a problem, while still completing the task more quickly than the captain had expected.  As a result, he was seen as a miracle worker by Captain Kirk.

In system administration, you're often asked how long something is going to take.  While I don't recommend multiplying your estimate by four, I do believe that you should always practice the principle of "underpromise and over-deliver" when dealing with others.  A task that looks like it should be a one-hour job can easily become a 2-3 hour job if things go wrong, the system begins responding too slowly, an emergency arises that you need to address first, etc.  If you tell someone something will take an hour and you aren't done two hours later, they're angry.  But if you tell them it will take two hours and you're done in 90 minutes, you're a miracle worker.  I'm not suggesting that you make a habit of lying, but rather that you give yourself a little breathing room to allow for things you might have forgotten, things that take longer than expected, or unexpected circumstances.

5. "The fancier the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain." (Star Trek III)

In Star Trek III, Captain Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise essentially "stole" the ship in order to save Spock and Doctor McCoy.  Mr. Scott expected the Federation's newest, fastest, fanciest ship (the Excelsior) to be given the task of pursuing the older, slower Enterprise.  He removed a handful of critical computer chips from the Excelsior's system while working on it, preventing the ship from being able to give chase.  When asked how he managed to sabotage the Excelsior in a way that they didn't detect, he replied that the fancier the plumbing was, the easier it was to stop up the drain.  In other words, the systems on the Excelsior were so complicated that it was easy to screw them up.

System administrators often have several ways to deal with a situation.  Some ways are simpler than others.  You should always be wary of any solution that has too many potential "points of failure".  While an elaborate Perl script might push out an urgent security patch to 10 systems simultaneously from the comfort of your desk chair, you could over-think the script and end up accidentally applying that patch to 100 systems you didn't want to apply it to.  Sometimes it's better to keep things simple, because it can reduce the chance of failure or allow you to respond more quickly.  Similarly, you can "over engineer" a solution to a problem and spend more time architecting a clever solution to something you could fix manually in a few minutes.

6. "Sometimes the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many." (Star Trek III)

When asked why the crew of the Enterprise risked their lives and their careers to save Spock in Star Trek III, Captain Kirk told him that sometimes the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.  In other words, Spock was their friend and they were willing to risk themselves because he meant more to them than their lives or careers.

In systems administration tasks, sometimes you have to do things that make a lot of people very unhappy.  For example, when pushing out security patches it is often necessary to reboot someone's PC to complete the installation.  Naturally, if that person has documents open in Microsoft Office when you reboot them, they're not going to be happy about it.  Multiply that over a large organization, and that simple reboot action can upset a lot of people.  However, as a system administrator, you're responsible for protecting your network from malware.  While "the many" users' needs may dictate that their PCs not be rebooted, your responsibility as "the one" who protects the network must outweigh theirs.  This is not to say that you're more important, or that you should be fine with mid-day reboots as a matter of practice, but rather that there will be times in the job where you've got to risk the wrath of the users for a greater good.

7. "Perhaps 'because it is there' is not sufficient reason for climbing a mountain."  (Star Trek V)

In Star Trek V, Captain Kirk is attempting to climb a mountain when he slips and begins to fall off.  Spock saves him at the last second.  Later, Spock tells Kirk that perhaps "because it is there" isn't a good enough reason to risk your life climbing a mountain.

There are times in system administration where there is something that you can technically do, but which isn't a good idea when examined more closely.  Maybe you have a script that could update all the company's computers with the latest Windows Service Pack overnight.  You might even be tempted to do it, since your management's asking you about when you're going to get the job done.  However, just because you can roll that Service Pack out in a heartbeat doesn't mean that's the right thing to do.  You could come in the next morning and find out that the Service Pack you pushed out last night broke the salespeople's contact management software, the accountants' general ledger program, and the CEO's favorite screensaver.  Suddenly, instead of being the miracle worker you thought you were going to be, you're on everyone's hit list.  There are times in system administration when caution is needed, and experience will often help you know when climbing the proverbial mountain is a good idea and when it isn't.

8. "An ancestor of mine maintained that if you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Star Trek VI)

In Star Trek VI, when attempting to figure out who assassinated the Klingon Chancelor, Spock began investigating his shipmates to identify the assassins.  When he came up with a seemingly incredible solution, he uttered the famous line above (which is paraphrased from Sherlock Holmes).

System administrators are often called upon to troubleshoot the strangest problems.  Sometimes the solution to those problems can be counterintuitive, and may even sound "impossible".  Here's a real-life example from my Windows 98 days.  The company had just implemented a new application in the Marketing and Finance areas.  For some reason, the laptop users in Marketing were getting a lot of "out of memory" errors when trying to use the application.  They requested more RAM.  We installed it.  The out of memory errors became even more frequent.  I started doing some research online and learned about a table kept by Windows 98 that was used to manage the available RAM.  My research indicated that the table had a fixed size and under certain conditions could "fill up" on the user.  One way you could free up space in this table was to remove some RAM.  I tried this on the Marketing laptops and, sure enough, the "out of memory" errors went away.  So, as impossible as it might seem, removing memory from the machines cleared up an "out of memory" error.

9. "People can be very frightened of change." (Star Trek VI)

In Star Trek VI, the Klingons suffered an environmental disaster that threatened to destroy their civilization.  As a result, they sought peace with the Federation, a change from their long-standing policy of conflict and subjugation.  In both the Federation and the Klingon Empire, there were people who had hated their rivals so much, and for so long, that the prospect of peace between the two governments was something they couldn't stomach.  It was said that such people were frightened of change (the coming peace).

This is very true in the Information Technology (IT) world.  When system administrators are about to make any kind of a signficant change, they're often required to document, justify, explain, and test the change well in advance of making it.  Inevitably, you will eventually change something that causes a problem.  Perhaps some Excel macros quit working after you upgrade Microsoft Office, or the new version of Internet Explorer doesn't work with an application used in Human Resources.  Those unfortunate consequences tend to make organizations as a whole resistant to change, even fearful of it.  As a system administrator, one of your responsibilities is to introduce change in a manner that allows you to control the potential negative impacts.

When we planned to roll out Windows XP Service Pack 2 (a while ago), I helped test as many of the applications used around the company as possible.  I would try to identify if Firewall changes would be needed, if the application required one of the "compatibility mode" options, if it would need to be patched, etc.  The point of all the hours I put in doing those things was to minimize the disruptive effects of upgrading to Windows XP Service Pack 2.  By all accounts, our hard work paid off and there were few, if any, complaints once the software began rolling out across the organization.


10. "One of the advantages of being a captain, Doctor, is being able to ask for advice without necessarily having to take it." (ST:TOS "Dagger of the Mind")

In the original Star Trek series, Captain Kirk often sought the advice of his senior officers.  Even though he sought their advice on how to deal with a problem, he did not always heed it.

Systems administrators typically work in teams.  Members of teams typically have one or more areas of expertise, and other areas where their expertise may be less extensive.  As a member of the team, you should always be willing to seek the advice of your teammates when you're about to do anything that might reflect negatively on the team if it goes wrong.  Just because you ask for a teammate's advice, however, doesn't mean you have to follow it.  Sometimes your own expertise or experience may "trump" the advice of a teammate, however well-intentioned and intelligent the advice might be.  The key lies in knowing when to take advice and when to ignore it, which is something you learn with time and experience.

11. "Power is danger." (ST:TOS "Balance of Terror")

A commonly uttered security mantra is that you should give users only the amount of administrative ability necessary for them to do their jobs, and no more.  If users don't have a business need for administrator access to their systems, they shouldn't have it.  In this way, if those same users introduce malware to your network via an infected floppy, CD, USB key, etc., that malware will have a hard time spreading.  Having no administrator access will also prevent them from installing unauthorized or pirated software, shutting off their computer's firewall, or doing other things that could compromise the security and stability of your network.

Similarly, as a system administrator you should always be careful and deliberate with your actions when you're using administrator permission on a machine.  Don't do indescriminate web browsing with the administrator account.  Don't run untested scripts against lots of end user machines.  Don't delete files you aren't sure about.  In short, recognize that your "godlike" powers over the computer make you dangerous, and always use those powers sparingly and carefully.

12. "Leave bigotry in your quarters; there's no room for it on the bridge." (ST:TOS "Balance of Terror")

System administrators tend to be the kind of people who like to tinker with things.  Even though we may be Mac administrators, we dabble in Windows or Linux.  If we're Linux administrators, we can't resist the urge to fiddle with a script on OS X or a batch file on Windows.  Because we have a lot of experience, we can sometimes become opinionated about technology, to the point of bigotry.  In a corporate setting, this kind of bigotry can be suicidal.  If your response to every Windows problem you're asked to resolve is to launch into a missive about how this wouldn't be a problem on the Mac, you're in the wrong job.  Unless they happen to ask for them, users don't want your opinions about the technology they're using.  Most of them could care less whether they're using Windows, OS X, Linux, or something else.  They just want to do their jobs, and they need you to fix the problem that's keeping them from working.  You may have a long list of reasons why the company should dump Windows and move to Linux or OS X. They might be very intelligent, objective, and thoughtful reasons.  But if you're being paid to administer Windows, you should keep those opinions to yourself unless asked for them. You'll just create unrest and friction with your co-workers, and that doesn't help anyone.

13. "The more complex the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play." (ST:TOS "Shore Leave")

Most people adorn their offices with a few well-chosen artifacts.  Perhaps they're pictures of loved ones, awards they've won, or souvenirs from their travels.  System administrators have those things too, but they also tend to like little toys.  For example, I've often got a netbook, an MP3 player, and some other gizmo keeping me company.  They might be expensive gadgets to other people, but they're fun toys to me, and it helps me to reduce my stress to play around with them occasionally... such as on my lunch hour.  Systems administrators tend to be fun, playful, and funny people (once you get to know them).  The complex web of information we have to master and use on a daily basis tends to make us seek out "fun" when we're not working or need a break.

14. "Insufficient facts always invite danger." (ST:TOS "Space Seed")

In the original Star Trek, Captain Kirk freed Khan Noonien Singh and his crew from an extended hibernation.  Khan and his crew were evasive about who they were and what they were doing on the ship they were rescued from.  Both Spock and Kirk did their best to extract information from them, but got very little.  Kirk noticed that Spock seemed uncomfortable with their new guests.  When asked why, he explained that they knew little about them, and that this lack of knowledge could be dangerous.  Later, Khan and his crew attempted to take control of the Enterprise.  Spock was right not to trust them.

System administrators who are willing to jump in and start working with something they know little about often learn through (bad) experience to become more cautious.  In handling security patches, for instance, I'm very careful.  When a new patch comes in, I have no way of knowing if that patch will break a critical business system, prevent systems from booting up, or force a reboot in the middle of the CEO's presentation to the executive board.  Before I release the patch to anyone else, I try it on my own system first to see how it behaves.  I then try it on my teammates and nearby co-workers.  If it doesn't cause a problem for them, I begin slowly fanning it out to the rest of the company.  Once I learn that the patch seems harmless I will then allow it to make its way on to large numbers of computers.  I make every effort to learn as much as I can about the patch before letting it "run loose" on the network.


15. "Either one of us, by himself, is expendable. Both of us are not." (ST:TOS "The Devil in the Dark")

It's not uncommon in system administration for there to be one person who handles a specific task, with another person serving as backup to that person.  The logic is to ensure that if the primary person gets sick, goes on vacation, takes a job elsewhere, or is hit by a bus, the team can continue to do the things it is responsible for.  It's a bad idea for the primary and the backup to be out of the office at the same time, and should be avoided if at all possible.  Inevitably, the day you're both out of the office there will be a major crisis in your area of expertise, and no one there who can resolve the problem.

16. "If I can have honesty, it's easier to overlook mistakes." (ST:TOS "Space Seed")

Sooner or later, you're going to make a mistake.  Maybe you accidentally deleted some critical files from a server.  Maybe you meant to adjust the firewall settings and ended up turning it off.  It might be something relatively minor, or heart-stoppingly major.  Whatever mistake you make, be willing to own up to it.  There's nothing to be gained by lying to your teammates or management to cover up a mistake.  If you own up to your mistakes, people will respect and trust you.  If you lie about them, they soon realize they can't rely on you and begin to resent you for the time they spend uncovering the truth.  Demand honesty from your coworkers, but deliver it in return.

17. "No one can guarantee the actions of another." (ST:TOS "Day of the Dove")

As part of system administration, or indeed any job, it can be necessary to make assumptions about how people will react to something and predict how they'll deal with it.  But just because a particular reaction seems logical, reasonable, and expected, don't assume everyone will do it.  Always make allowances in your plans, your scripts, and your procedures for your end users to do the illogical, unexpected, and "wrong thing at the wrong time".  Build in the safeguards you can to prevent as many problems as you reasonably can, but realize that no matter how hard you try, there's likely to be someone who does something you didn't plan for.

Another Step in the Papillary Carcinoma Treatment

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Today, I met with an endocrinologist who will be overseeing my treatment from this point on.  He explained that based on the type of cancer I had on my thyroid (papillary carcinoma) and the fact that it didn't appear to have spread, the prognosis is extremely good. 

The next step will be for me to meet with the nuclear medicine specialist who will eventually administer radioactive iodine to me.  That appointment has not yet been scheduled, but is expected to take place in the next couple of weeks.  After that meeting, I'll most likely be placed on an iodine-restricted diet, designed to make any thyroid or cancer cells remaining after surgery starved for iodine.  Then, when the radioactive iodine is administered, they'll grab up all they can get and die out. 

As I understand it, for 5 days after taking the iodine, I'm to minimize my exposure to other people to prevent the radiation from affecting them.  If you're curious as to what those restrictions might be, there are other web sites that can tell you.

Once we've done that treatment, I'll start taking synthetic thyroid hormone.  The challenge will be to determine the correct dosage for me, as each person is a little different.  Once that's settled, I'll have annual checks to see if the cancer has returned.

On the heels of my recent post listing things you hope not to hear at the dentist's office comes the following list of things you don't want to hear when you take your computer in for service:
  • "Wow, I haven't seen one of these in years!"
  • "You didn't have any important information on here, did you?"
  • "Well, I can fix it, but you're going to have to pay overtime..."
  • "What's this thing with all the buttons on it? A keyboard?  Never seen one."
  • "OK, so I was all done with it and started carrying it out here to you when 'Wham!' I got most of the pieces into this box here..."
  • "I accidentally copied those, uh, 'private' pictures of your wife on your PC to our company website..."
  • "Are you sure you brought your computer to US to repair?"
  • "Remember that big lightning storm we had last night? About that..."
  • "Do you remember when they tried to sell you an extended warranty on this thing?  There's a reason they suggested that..."

Things You Don't Want to Hear at the Dentist

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Having just had a dentist appointment last week for the usual 6-month checkup, I was inspired to write the following list of things you hope you don't hear at the dentist's office:

  • "Hmmmm... these x-rays look a little odd.  Oh wait, I had them upside down..."
  • "You do have good dental insurance, don't you?"
  • "I am so hung-over...."
  • "I wish I could afford a new drill bit. This one is just so dull and rusty..."
  • "What do you mean we're out of novocaine?"
  • "Sure, I'm planning to use gas.... just not on you."
  • "Have I ever told you how much I enjoy garlic and onion sandwiches?"
  • "Sterilization? That's for wimps."
  • "New Mercedes, here I come..."
  • "When you wake up, you may find some of your clothing missing. That's completely normal."
  • "Mind if I film this session for a medical journal?"
  • "Hope your day's going better than mine. My spouse just left me for someone who looks.... like YOU!"
  • "Let's have a look at those teeth... Cha-ching!"
  • "License to practice? What's that?"
  • "Front desk? You'd better cancel my other appointments for today."
  • "This is a self-serve dentist.  Just let me know when you're finished."
Feel free to add your own items to the comments or post a similar list on your blog...

Surgery was Successful

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Yesterday, I met with the surgeon who removed my thyroid to discuss the pathology report and next steps in treatment of my cancer.  He has referred me to an endocrinologist, who will administer the radioactive iodine and start me on replacement thyroid hormone.  I've been feeling really run down the last few days and in a moderate amount of pain, which is probably the fibromyalgia acting up.

The pathology report showed that the cancer didn't appear to extend beyond my thyroid, which means that the radioactive iodine should get any remaining cancer or thyroid cells.

Thyroid Cancer Update

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The surgery is only a memory now, and will be a week ago tomorrow.  I just spent my first full day back at the office, and it was a fairly busy one.

The steri-strips over my incision are starting to come loose and are expected to fall off of their own accord in the next day or two.  The little bit of the incision that's already visible doesn't look too bad.

I'm not feeling too bad. I got a little tired late in the day at work, but walk and some decaf coffee perked me up enough to get through the rest of it.  There is a small amount of pain left in my throat, and the incision area itself occasionally burns a little, but I haven't had to touch the prescription painkillers for days.

There are lots of doctor visits in my immediate future... follow-up about the surgery, planning for the radioactive iodine treatment, working out a dose of synthetic thyroid hormone, and whatever else might arise in the meantime.  Still, I'm happy to have the cancer out of my system and to continue on.

Back Home

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Tuesday morning, I underwent surgery to remove my thyroid and the cancer it contained.  It took over three hours for the surgeons to do their job.  Afterward, they told me that it appears the cancer didn't spread beyond the thyroid, which is extremely good news.  If they missed any, the radioactive iodine I'll be drinking in a few weeks should take care of that.

I spent Tuesday night in the hospital, where they monitored my calcium levels and other vital signs to ensure that the surgery went well.  Although the hospital staff was very attentive and treated me very well, it was still a fairly unpleasant night.  Every time I tried to fall asleep, my mouth and throat would dry out and wake me up.  I'm pretty sure I saw every hour pass from 3pm when they put me in the hospital room until about noon Wednesday when they released me.  When I got home yesterday, I took a couple of pain medication pills and a nap on the couch.

In terms of recuperation, I've been asked to sleep with my head raised up so that any swelling caused by the surgery will be carried down to my chest rather than remaining in my neck.  That makes sleeping comfortably a little difficult, but not impossible.

Today, I was allowed to shower as long as I didn't get the surgery area on my neck too wet and didn't attempt to scrub or dry it.  That probably did as much to help me feel better as the pain medication.

All things considered, I actually don't feel too bad.  The surgery site looks like something from one of Dr. Frankenstein's experiments.  It's stitched up and covered with "steri strips" (tape-like stuff).  The steri strips are a bit bloody-looking, which contributes to the Frankenstein look.

My throat is still a bit raw and sore from having a tube stuck down it during the surgery.  That's probably the majority of the pain I'm feeling right now.  The surgery site doesn't hurt much, unless I put stress on it by moving my neck too much in any one direction.

All that prevents me from returning to work at this point is all the paperwork.  Unfortunately, it looks like I may have left that on my desk Monday.  Hopefully, my wife will be able to get that sorted out for me tomorrow.

VBScript to Determine a PC's Need for a Reboot

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From time to time in Windows administration and patch management, it's necessary to know whether a machine you're about to do something to is waiting on a reboot. When an installer program needs to replace a file that's in use, it can't do that, so it places the file on the disk with a temporary name and places a value in the Windows Registry to indicate that the file needs to be renamed at the next reboot. Therefore, if you want to detect whether a given machine needs a reboot in order to complete the work of a previously-applied hotfix, patch, or software install, you can look at that value in the Registry to see if there's any work to be done on the next reboot. If there is, the machine needs a reboot. If there's nothing there, the machine doesn't need a reboot.

The Registry key you need to examine is a MultiString Value called, aptly enough "PendingFileRenameOperations" located on the following Registry path:

HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Control\Session Manager

Below is a sample VBScript to perform a test of the local or a remote machine to see if a reboot is needed based on the PendingFileRenameOperations key. The script must be run with Administrator permission on the system to be checked. If run without Administrator permission, the script will be unable to connect with the remote machine and an error will be displayed.

When executed, the script prompts for the name of a PC on the network, which can be the PC you're using at the time. If no PC name is entered, the script aborts. Otherwise, it makes a Windows Management Instrumentation (WMI) call to the Registry provider on the remote machine and requests the value of the PendingFileRenameOperations key. If an actual value is found, this means that PC requires a reboot. If no value is found or the key isn't there, then the PC does not require a reboot. A message is displayed for the user indicating if the machine in question does or does not need to be rebooted.

I hope you'll find the script useful.

dim oReg

'
' Set a constant we'll use later
'
Const HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE = &H80000002

'
' Ask the user for a PC name to check and abort if they
' don't give us one.
'
strComputer = InputBox("Which PC do you want to check?",_
                 "Reboot Need Checker")

if strComputer="" then
  wscript.quit
end if

thePC = ltrim(rtrim(strComputer))

'
' Use the Windows Management Instrumentation (WMI) capability
' to connect to the remote computer's Registry provider.
'
on error resume next
set oReg = GetObject("winmgmts:{impersonationLevel=impersonate}!\\" & _
           strComputer & "\root\default:StdRegProv")

If Err.Number <> 0 Then
   MsgBox "Could not connect with WMI to PC " & strComputer & _
          "'s Registry.", vbOKOnly, "ERROR!"
   wscript.quit
End If

'
' Use the WMI Registry Provider to look up the reboot status in
' the remote PC's Registry. Display an error if we can't do it.
'
strvalue = "NOTHING"
strKeyPath = "SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Control\Session Manager"
strValueName = "PendingFileRenameOperations"

oReg.GetMultiStringValue HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE,_
                         strKeyPath,_
						 strValueName,_
						 arrValues

If Err.Number <> 0 Then
     MsgBox "Could not read reboot status for the PC " & _
	        strComputer, vbOKOnly, "ERROR!"
     wscript.quit
End If
    
'
' If arrValues returns a non-zero value below, then there are filenames in
' the PendingFileRenameOperations key, and therefore a reboot
' is needed to complete those rename operations.
'
if arrvalues > 0 then

   msgbox strComputer & " requires a reboot at this time. ", _
          vbokonly,"Reboot Needed"

else

   msgbox strComputer & " does not require a reboot. ", _
          vbokonly,"No Reboot Needed"
   wscript.quit

end if

My "Go To" Websites

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The web is full of a lot of interesting, funny, and informative stuff. I was walking back from the cafeteria today with some of my co-workers when the topic of web sites came up. I shared with them the web sites I like to visit every day if I can find the time. I thought you might find the list useful, so here goes...

  • Woot.com: This site offers a different product every day, which can be almost anything, at a deep discount. The product offered can be a hard drive, a golf club, a hammock, a laptop computer, a big-screen TV, or any of hundreds of other items. If you like the item they're offering and the price, you buy it. If not, move on. Some of the best parts of this site are the product descriptions, which are some of the funniest stuff on the web. I also enjoy their podcast, which usually contains music reminiscent of They Might Be Giants or Devo. Occasionally, Woot does what they call a "woot off" where a long string of items is posted one at a time on the site until each one sells out. They just finished one of these yesterday.
  • Sellout.woot.com: This sister site to Woot.com also offers an item each day at a discount. This is a different item from the one on the main Woot site, but is sometimes complementary (e.g., an iPod on one and an iPod docking device on the other).
  • Shirt.woot.com: This sister site to Woot.com offers a different T-shirt each day. The prices are more reasonable than most other t-shirt sites on the web, and the shirts offered range from the artistic to the geeky.
  • User Friendly - The Comic Strip: If you're a technology/IT person like I am, you'll appreciate the antics of the characters on this web site, who work as consultants, tech support, and corporate IT. The strips tend to poke fun at science, technology, and related issues.
  • Dilbert - The Comic Strip: If you have a corporate job, it's pretty easy to identify with this classic syndicated comic strip.
  • Giveaway of the Day: This site offers, for free, a Windows software product that you'd otherwise have to pay for. Each day it's a new product. The product might be a utility like a disk defragmenter, a project management tool, a video editor, a PDF to HTML converter, or something else. If the product is useful to you, it's free if you download and install it immediately. (I also find it useful practice to repackage these downloads using Wise Package Studio.)
  • Game Giveaway of the Day: This sister site to giveawayoftheday.com offers, typically less often than once a day, a game you'd otherwise have to pay for. Again, you may not like some of the games they offer, but it's hard to argue with the price (free).
  • Yugster.com: Like Woot, Yugster offers 1-2 products a day and sells them until they're gone or it's time to bring on the next product.
  • Fark: This web site is kind of like a "headline news of the weird". It features stories from all over the web, and all over the world, focusing on the more offbeat, bizarre, and humorous. I like to read this one on my lunch hour.
  • iGoogle: Google offers a customized home page for users who set up an account with them. Using this customized home page, you can display the top technology headlines from any site with an RSS feed (like this one). You'll be able to tell instantly if something useful or interesting appears on your favorite sites without leaving your web browser's start page (assuming you set iGoogle up as your start page). I use it to keep track of Crave: The Gadget Blog, technology news sites, Slashdot, and CNet News.
Here are some of the other sites I like to visit regularly, but that I don't visit as often as the above:
  • Amazon.com: I like to check in to see what Amazon thinks I might be interested in. Often, they're right. I keep a "wish list" on Amazon.com so that friends and family members can get ideas for gifts I might like.
  • Newegg.com: This site specializes in computers and computer components at inexpensive prices. When I need a bit of technology, I usually look here for it first. If they have it, it's often going to be at one of the lowest prices on the web.
  • Pacific Geek: This site offers deep-discount computer technology items, including lots of cheap little electronic gadgets and toys. My office is decorated with a lot of crap from here.
  • Think Geek: This is kind of the "Sears Christmas Toy Catalog" for geeks. You can find a million little gadgets, gizmos, and things that us geeks find amusing. They offer products like a duct tape wallet, caffeinated soap (really!), bumper stickers that say geeky things like "Got root?", and animated doormats. I keep a wish list here, too.

Papillary Carcinoma and Me

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(This blog entry contains medical information which is based on what I've read and what I've understood from my doctor's words.  It should not be construed as medical advice or in any way be used by anyone to make medical decisions  I am not a doctor.  I share this information both to help myself process what is happening to me and to give others who might receive the same diagnosis comfort from knowing they're not alone in the world.  Please consult a licensed medical professional rather than rely on anything you read in this blog.)

A few months back, I noticed that it seemed like the medications I took in the morning were getting stuck in my throat.  I'd go most of the morning feeling like I had a capsule in there that just wouldn't go down.  Then I noticed on mornings I forgot to take my medications that it still felt that way.  I thought I'd massage my throat and see if it helped with the sensation any.  In doing so, I found a rather large lump. It felt like about half the size of a golf ball.

While in a doctor's office about another issue, I asked him to examine the lump to see if it was anything I should worry about. He estimated its size and 2.4 centimeters in diameter.  He ordered an ultrasound examination to get some idea what it was.  The ultrasound showed that where he'd expected to find only fluid, there appeared to be some solid components.  He said this wasn't unusual, and that sometimes when a lump like that (which he told me was on my thyroid) grows quickly it can choke off healthy tissue, which then floats around inside it. To be safe, he ordered a "needle biopsy" or "fine needle aspiration" of the lump.

This morning, my wife and I got the results of the lab examination.  It was thyroid cancer, more specifically "papillary carcinoma".  He said it was unusual to find actual cancerous cells in the biopsy. More often, they're "unusual" cells that indicate the possible presence of cancer, but not actual cancerous cells.

Apparently, this particular type of thyroid cancer is very slow growing.  He says I've probably had this lump in my throat for years and didn't know it until it got large enough to interfere with my swallowing.  Generally speaking, the prognosis for people who contract this particular variety of cancer is good.  According to one web site I read, over 95% of the people diagnosed with papillary carcinoma are successfully treated and go on to live for many years.  The success rate goes down depending on the size of the tumor, whether the cancer has spread, and other factors.

This news comes almost two weeks to the day that my mother passed away, and one week exactly after she was laid to rest after a long battle with melanoma.  My doctor said that if you had to contract cancer and could choose which cancer you got, this would be one of the best choices because it's relatively easily treated and treatment has a high success rate.

What's in store for me from this point on begins with a pre-surgery certification by my primary doctor.  That happens tomorrow.  On October 7, the surgeon will remove my thyroid and any surrounding tissue that looks abnormal. There are risks to the surgery, including changes to my voice or possible damage to calcium-processing glands near the thyroid, along with all the usual surgery risks.  I'll spend one night in the hospital, unless there are complications, which aren't likely.  After that, I'll spend 3-5 days at home recovering.  At some point I'll be given radioactive iodine.  They do this because the cells in this particular cancer respond like normal thyroid cells, which absorb iodine readily.  Any cancerous cells missed by the surgeon should, at least in theory, gobble up this radioactive iodine and die off.  After that, I should be cancer free and continue to live a normal life span, I'm told.

Somewhere in all this process, I'll begin taking synthetic thyroid hormone to replace what I would have gotten from the now-missing thyroid.  It will take some time to adjust the dosage to the right level for me, after which I'll take that medication for the rest of my days.

As I understand this, the only way the prognosis could get "bad" is if this cancer has spread beyond the thyroid, into the bones or other organs.  At this point, there's no evidence that is the case, and I should be fine.  I'll know for sure (hopefully) within a couple of weeks.

My Mother

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About two years ago, my mother was diagnosed with melanoma.  It began, oddly, in one of her feet and spread from there. It traveled to lymph nodes, other places in her leg, and eventually produced an abdominal tumor large enough to shut off a kidney.  Last week, she began experiencing excruciating pain in her leg and had to be taken to the emergency room in an ambulance.  My dad called me last Wednesday to tell me that things didn't look good, and that I should get there soon. The next morning, he called me at work to tell me she didn't have long and I needed to get there right away.  I called my brother, who met me at my home and we began the 7 hour journey to York, PA.

Unfortunately, before we had left Ohio, mom had passed away.  We were (and still are) devastated by the news.

Because my parents had lived in York for so many years, a funeral service was held there. I had the opportunity to see just how many others' lives my mom had touched.  It was one of the most well-attended funerals I've ever seen.  It was comforting to see how many people cared about her and my father, and yet sad to see how many would miss her.

A second funeral service was held in Portsmouth, Ohio, yesterday.  It was as well-attended as the service in York.  People from as far away as Seattle and Arizona were there.  Mom was buried yesterday afternoon.

To say I will miss her is an understatement.  We spent hours on the phone over the years, talking about what each of us were doing that week.  She would tell me about people she had met at work (before she retired), quilts she was working on, what her dog Fozzy was up to, and a million other things.  She was quite a talker!  What I wouldn't give for one of those phone calls about now.

Mom was pretty amazing.  She was very well read, certainly more well read than I am.  She enjoyed doing crossword puzzles, making quilts, baking, traveling, and showering Fozzy with affection.  She'd lived in Brazil, in the Philippines, Georgia, Ohio, and Pennsylvania over her lifetime.  She was incredibly creative, having made more quilts over the years than any of us could count, done macrame, home decorating, gardening, and more.  I can only marvel at her life and accomplishments.

Life can be pretty painful sometimes, and this has been one of those times.  I'm moving forward as best I can, but I still picture her lying in rest at the funeral home, and it brings tears to my eyes.  I expect that will be the case for a while.  Someone told me at the funeral in York that people tell you time heals all wounds, but it's not true.  You just learn to live with the pain and focus on the good things your departed loved ones brought to your life.  That's probably true enough.